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I hate it when I don’t love or hate a movie, it always leaves me at such a loss for things to say. It’s so much easier when I love the movie and can gush over all the things I enjoyed about it, or as is more often the case, when I absolutely hate every single thing about it and can rain a litany of abusive insults upon all involved. 
Tower Heist to me is one of those movies that you walk away from knowing that you enjoyed it while you were watching it, but by the time you get to the parking lot you’ve already forgotten all about it and are trying to remember where the heck you parked your car. Not even in some of the big groups of people I saw leaving the theater together did I overhear anybody going, “Oh, I loved when Ben Stiller did this!” or “I loved when Eddie Murphy said that!” I thought I heard one guy and girl talking about it, but no sooner than I attempted to join their conversation did the guy slam on brakes and violently drag me out of his back seat in a frightened panic. And the pepper spray the girl doused me with wasn’t necessary either!
For a “heist” movie, Tower Heist isn’t bad. It does lack that certain level of believability that makes any good heist movie that much more fun to watch, but I suppose what it lacks in believability it makes up for it in heart. I liked that the characters carrying out the heist were not motivated by greed, none of them know anything about being a crook. They’re more or less taking the law into their own hands in order to recover millions of hard earned dollars squandered by a resident at the tower, a crooked financial guru named Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda).
As for a comedy, Tower Heist is humorous, yes, but is it side-splittingly funny? Not exactly, and that’s probably my biggest problem with the movie. Here we have what they have billed as this great “teaming up” of Stiller and Murphy, but I can’t tell you how badly I wished it was Charlie Murphy instead (even if the whole movie was Eddie Murphy’s idea). It would have been much more convincing if Charlie Murphy were the crook that the characters turn to for guidance, his face alone fits the bill of a shifty-eyed thief and he has a much funnier scowl than Eddie.
Sure, Eddie may not have been without one or two good lines. But Matthew Broderick was funnier than him. Gabourey Sidibe was funnier than him. Michael Peña was funnier than him. I’m pretty sure there were a couple of extras without any lines that were funnier than him. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that if there was one character the movie could have went along fine without, it was Eddie Murphy‘s. Everybody else plays a key role, while he just kind of phones it in.
But all in all, Tower Heist is worth seeing once for the hell of it. It could always be worse, you could be stuck watching A Harold and Kumar Christmas. Oh, oh God, no!
By the way, I’m still at the theater texting this entire review from my phone, so if anybody sees Mr. Wilson could you please tell him that my car has been stolen and that I need a ride home? It’s getting awfully late, I’m without food, and my wife probably thinks I got my arms stuck in two vending machines again. Speak of the devil, I wish I had some spare change to get a soda out of that vending machine over there. Ooh, unless…………..
Made me laugh and held my interest more than it should have, given how sloppy it is. Call it an acceptable bit of B-minus work from a C student. Good review Russell.
Thank you, much appreciated!
It was ok, not phenomenal. I wasn’t too drawn in by the cast’s performances but good to see Eddie Murphy again.
Here is the review I wrote for Tower Heist: Coming out of Tower Heist, I felt cheated. I had gone into the cinema with optimism, buoyed by the hope of watching Eddie Murphy return to form playing a jive-talking street character, the sort of role which propelled him to stardom in films like Beverly Hills Cop, while working alongside such comedic talents as Ben Stiller and Matthew Broderick. Sadly, Tower Heist is mediocre on nearly all counts, failing to deliver memorable jokes, an entertaining plot and substantial thrills.
The film revolves around a group of dedicated employees at The Tower, a hotel in New York (we know it’s prestigious because it’s not the Tower, it’s The Tower). When they find out that their pensions have been lost in a giant Ponzi scheme perpetrated by Bernie Madoff clone Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda), a diverse group of employees led by meek building manager Josh Kovacs (Ben Stiller) scheme to rob Shaw and reclaim what’s rightfully theirs. Of course, hilarity ensues as everything that could go wrong with the plan does. What could have been a gut-busting comedy with a different, smarter plotline is instead predictable and uninspired. The film’s real crime is in its screenplay, which lifts key plot points from vastly superior movies like Ocean’s Eleven. However, the film’s target audience shouldn’t mind the hackneyed storyline too much, considering most of them are interested in Tower Heist for the film’s talented cast.
Most of them will be disappointed, as one of the film’s greatest offenses is its criminal misuse of the many stars involved. Ben Stiller is funny at first as Josh, a fed-up, vengeful Everyman with whom all Occupy Wall Street protesters can sympathize, but his character burns out too early and has no room to develop over the last two-thirds of the film. Eddie Murphy, who has been absent for the screen for far too long, plays Slide, a petty thief who joins Josh and his crew on their illegal endeavor. His character is the source of the few jokes in the film that actually work, though the borderline-offensive vulgarity of his humor may turn off more demanding viewers. His interactions with Gabourney Sidibe’s spirited Jamaican maid (in her first big film role since her Oscar-nominated turn in Precious) rank among the best scenes of the film. Matthew Broderick (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) is unable show off any comedic skills, miscast in the thankless role of an old, pessimistic schlub. Most of all, Téa Leoni, who previously showcased her great comic timing in Fun with Dick and Jane, is completely squandered as an FBI agent with a poorly-developed and ultimately rudderless romantic interest in Josh. The only actor truly deserving of praise is Alan Alda who plays Shaw with tangible menace and bravado. He steals the show effortlessly.
The heist itself is ridiculous to watch and even cringe-worthy at times. The inane plotting of the film never allows the audience to believe that the characters in this film would be successful at anything more than holding a door open. Not one of them acts believably at any point in the film, making Tower Heist seem more like a poorly imagined fantasy than a timely crime comedy.
Maybe I’m being too harsh on Tower Heist. After all, it doesn’t pretend to be sophisticated or witty or even good. It only promises to provide a distraction to its audience in a time when everyone needs a distraction now and again. It does have a few entertaining moments, though I challenge any viewers to recall what made the film funny a week later. I, for one, expected more from Tower Heist, especially due to all the talented people involved with the film. Where the film should thrill, it bores. Where it should move at a brisk pace, it plods along, and where it should instigate laughter, it instead generates yawns. The potential for this film was great, with the comedy one-two punch of Murphy and Stiller, but the end product is lacking in laughs and ingenuity. This minimally entertaining lowbrow comedy is both forgettable and best forgotten.